Hey GenXer. You didn’t plan to leave. You planned to stay. Maybe you were aiming for one more promotion or just a chance to build something solid again.
But then you get called into a meeting with your manager and HR. “It’s not personal,” they say. The layoff hits you hard.
The ladder didn’t break. It disappeared. And now you’re staring at the space where it used to be, wondering what to do now that there’s nothing to climb. You quickly decide that the job was a failure. That YOU are a failure.
Not so fast, pal. Let’s talk about what happens when you go out on a low note with an abrupt exit. That blank space can be scary, but it also holds the possibility for something beautiful.
Proof You Still Matter
We are evidence-gathering machines. So when you’re let go from a job, it’s easy to start the spiral right away, questioning whether you were ever suited to the job, if you made any impact at all. You might reflect on all the signs you missed that a layoff or firing was coming. You make it all add up to your failings.
I invite you to take a different tack. Since your world is shaped by what you pay attention to, could you start paying attention to some other things, beginning immediately?
Consider the invisible labor you did at work that never showed up on a performance review. Maybe you mentored a struggling teammate or worked on the weekends to improve a process. Look at your old reviews and read through your list of accomplishments. Those skills will matter again soon.
Write it all down in a new document before you forget about it. Your coworkers may say nice things about you as you walk out the door. Add all of it to your document.
Yes, your feelings were hurt and you are justified in feeling bitter. But a bitter pit can be planted and bloom into something new. Your fertilizer is all the good you did in your job. Getting fired doesn’t take that away.
It’s Valid to Walk Away from the Clown Car
Also, other people are involved here. You are not in a single-player game.
Remember how in love you were with your ex? And then once you recovered from the breakup, you looked back and saw all the things you tolerated in a relationship that had been broken for a long time? It can be like that with work too. Let’s take a step back and look at what you’re leaving.
Even if it wasn’t your choice, it’s highly possible you just escaped a broken system that nothing, not even you, could fix. The CEO refuses to hear bad news; two VPs compete with each other and use their teams as pawns. Or you spent way too much time editing dumb spreadsheets.
Did you really want to be the driver of the clown car?
As a GenXer, you might have been in a weird spot: stuck mid-ladder. You carried the load of the culture but were excluded from strategic decisions at the top. You watched leaders fumble; leaders who often had less experience than you do.
Maybe this can let you stop blaming yourself for getting the boot. You didn’t need to be more resilient or less sensitive. The system was flawed. Once you see the clown car for what it is, it’s okay to walk and not look back.
Reuniting With Your Whole Self
Leaving might be your first chance in years to welcome back the rest of who you are. The goofball or the creative one. You’ve been made of more this whole time.
The freedom you’ll experience comes with a small warning. The box that your company had you in felt confining, but it was familiar. Life on the outside may look cold and lonely, and finding a new box doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
So it’s normal to feel sad or confused when all aspects of you finally have room to stretch. You are slowly stitching yourself back together after years of compartmentalization. This is more than a career transition, it’s an emotional reunion with your full self.
And listen, other people are going through this too. When you set aside any lingering shame or guilt and actually talk to colleagues and acquaintances who also experienced a layoff, you’ll discover that you’re part of a big new club of people who understand. Connect with them.
The Concept of Potential Is a Trap
One thing I hear from clients is that they regret not living up to their potential. But potential is a trap. It implies a vision for your life set by someone who doesn’t even fully know you.
It’s a critique masked as encouragement.
It’s time to make peace with what you’ve accomplished and who you’ve become. You can’t go back and make different choices; you can only move forward from right now.
If Potential is hanging around your neck, try this: Write it a breakup letter. Tell your potential off for pressuring you, thank it for getting you this far. Then let your potential know that you’ll take it from here. Say goodbye, and trash the letter. That helps clear the slate for a new phase.
The You Who Starts the Next Thing Doesn’t Exist Yet
How can you develop the confidence that you’ll figure out the next thing when you’re still battling the belief that you just messed up the last thing?
First, know that the skills you built are portable. They will travel with you and can be remixed into a variety of new ventures. Consulting, entrepreneurship, fractional work, and new roles outside your current industry. If you’re ready to ditch corporate altogether and open a dog grooming business, your skills will show up there too.
If you’re feeling stuck, it’s because you haven’t met the version of you who will lead this next chapter. That version will emerge once the conditions are right. Like a Sea Monkey, but with a brain.
So try taking the confidence requirement off the table for a bit. You just experienced a loss. It’s okay to be in a weird space for a while as you reflect on what just happened.
The new you will emerge through action, not overthinking. So even if you’re feeling fuzzy or agitated, it’s a great time for tiny experiments. The more you move, the more your curiosity and confidence will reawaken. The new you is waiting to be called upon.
Write a New Story
A sudden exit from your corporate job can mess with your sense of identity and self-worth. It can evoke a swirl of conflicting feelings, from relief to shame to anger. It forces you to make decisions before you’re ready and it cuts you off from people you like.
Remember, you are the star of the movie of your life. All feelings are transient: grief and opportunity can co-exist in the same scene.
When I help clients navigate major losses, I ask them to consider three key questions. You can try this too. For each question, write down as many answers as you can come up with before you move to the next one.
- What’s lost?
- What’s left?
- What’s possible?
You may be surprised by how many answers you find in the possibilities that lie ahead for you. Let yourself cast a wide net here. You could be reclaiming aspects of your health and relationships, as well as work opportunities.
Gathering Clues, Planting Seeds
Clarity will come naturally as the result of time and experimentation. The clues you find as you recover from your abrupt exit will be the seeds of your next chapter. Let your frustration be fuel, and stay connected to others who are going through the same thing.
Getting fired or laid off might feel like unfair personal rejection, but it’s more like being collateral damage of an imperfect system designed to optimize a bunch of arbitrary metrics that are out of your control. If you can unhook your self-worth from the exit, you’ll discover all the ingredients you need to create something new.
You already have the tools to reframe failure as release. As opportunity. The ladder was always an illusion anyway. You can stop climbing and start creating.
Burn the map. Build what fits.
Ready to let go for real? Let’s work together. Have a look at my Reinvention Partnership Program.
